passports…should not expire
actually i have decided that passports shouldn’t exist at all
![[anonymous ask for @marisatomay]: no passports? how you gonna have people travel between countries? [answer from @marisatomay]: they just go baby](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cee670455601f333251a4399278ef5b8/ecc8e3ca158c399f-2f/s540x810/d3e8dcaca61871ef9c7605d8e111ee470cf03799.jpg)
ALT![[unanswered anonymous ask for @marisatomay]: apparently assholes doing terrorism isnt a thing in your passport free world](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6d88e69e4fbb15dee03d766445301234/ecc8e3ca158c399f-f5/s540x810/ac59ab376022f0d6191e50a19692700e7719d5d1.jpg)
ALTi love it here
Me when I'm about to do a terrorism but I am stopped by a cop asking for my passport
werewolf transformations and magical girl transformations swapped
"s-stay back! the change... i can't control it!" *horrifying transformation sequence of bones cracking and flesh rearranging, hair growing out, ribbons and flashy jewelry bursting forth from skin, screaming in agony*
alternatively,
"In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!" *lifted up in a rainbow beam of glittering magic. each part of the body bathed in dazzling light before revealing sharp glistening claws, long fangs, and a dark shaggy coat.*
some of you have clearly never listened to white foxes by susanne sundfør. my heart aches with sympathy and contempt for you.
ALTfinallygaveintothesirencall asked:
How do you preserve the food from your garden so it doesn't go bad before you can eat it?
gallusrostromegalus answered:
You are wildly underestimating my ability to go fucking feral about fresh produce. I don’t think I even brought snap peas into the house last year. Just ate them right off the vine.
Though I did end up freezing the strawberries/blue berries as they ripened, but even those were consumed within the week.
The only tough one was the potatoes, but that was resolved by just foisting potatoes on everyone I knew. Much more welcome than Zucchinis.
Oh this is why every gardening person I know keeps trying to give me the food they grow
That, and we love you. Homegrown produce is a love language.
Unless it's zucchini. Then it's a cry for help.
Tomato (June) - I think highly of you; treasured friend
Tomato (September) - you are a warm body that is nearby
Fresh new asparagus - romantic love
Artichoke - fondness
New rhubarb with leaves removed - flirtatious potential
Rhubarb with leaves left on - the bloom is gone
Swiss chard - I have made mistakes
Perpetual spinach - declaration of animosity between our houses
White-fleshed potato - you are a neighbor
Blue or red fleshed potato - as above, but with overtones of camaraderie/affection
Kale - you are a person who was nearby when I had kale
Raspberries - you are a person I admire
Strawberries - you are a treasure
Onion - I am confused
Young French beans or young peas - I thought of you especially
Runner beans - mild criticism; familial ties; gift from parent to child
Pumpkins - overt romantic, sexual or childhood-bestie interest; highest declaration of loyalty
Prettily coloured popping corn, I.e. glass gem - let this seal the breach between our houses
Zucchini/courgette - cry for help, resignation
Novelty pumpkins - marriage proposal
(chortle)
Me: huh. Why is this getting a rash of notes all of a sudden?
*discovers paper bag full of zucchini on doorstep*
Me: Ah. That time of year again.
cause of death: tried to organize an activity with more than 2 friends at once past the age of 25
